The guide told me

I think my clumsy efforts at Haiku help my mind do what it does not want to do, simplify, instead of to elaborate upon elaboration. That got me to thinking, simply, of the cross. The cross as symbol. The cross barebones. Horizontal. Vertical. And then the what it's all about. The intersection of the horizontal with the vertical. Jesus. And the horizontal, the material plane, that we wake to and dwell in and get hungry in and think in and feel in and will in and touch in and sneeze in and are baffled in. And the vertical, the spiritual, that we may or may not even be aware of. The invisible. The immaterial. For some the great unknown, or the great un-thought of. For many life begins and ends on the horizontal plane of the cross. They never meet up with the intersection, that place where they must halt in their tracks and look up, either in awe, or fear, or in bafflement. For me Jesus was there. At the crossroads. At the intersection. A guide. If I dared. To leave the horizontal and venture into the vertical. Could I leave the comfort of the world of nouns and explore the world of verbs? And so that symbol, the barebones horizontal line drawn in the sand and then the simple vertical line drawn cross it in the sand. In my daily walk in the horizontal world my eye is ever on alert to create crosses whenever two lines cross. Two limbs intersect. Two roads intersect. The intersecting of the grout between the ceramic tiles, a field of crosses! Each a reminder from the guide that life is more than what takes place on the horizon, for even there, daily, the sun breaks the horizon in two, and rises. The lifegiver of the horizontal plane, the sun, rises to the vertical. Just as the guide told me.

40 Days

Ash on my forehead
one hundred and twenty meals
Does not anyone fast?

Moving mountains

The sand in my hand
once a mighty mountain was
What did Jesus say?

Daybreak

Two eggs on my plate
stare up at my eager fork
A rooster crowing?

Bro. Juniper says

I love magic. I could spend all day watching magic. Some people even pay to watch magic. Wouldn't it be great if God was a really, really, really good magician? I mean, more than just card tricks or spitting out an endless stream of ping pong balls from His mouth, or even the silver dollar behind the ear trick, but some really cool tricks, like hiding quarks inside hadrons!

Lighting candles inside dark minds

I was mulling over the reality of what my senses tell me and how the inside of my skull can hold the entire night sky of countless stars and universes and these two cameras of eyes do the mechanical work of catching the onslaught of photons from distances that I can hardly imagine and through the mechanics of a camera actually create a picture within the two orbs, yet those physical pictures dissolve before the electro/chemical impulses begin their journey through the optic nerve and then this brain reads these impulses and recreates the entire night sky -- where? Wouldn't it be a relief to discover a tiny theater with a tiny CinemaScope screen hidden in the depths of that grey matter? But truth be told many a brain have been sliced and diced and nary a rumpus room with a Zenith, let alone a theater with a CinemaScope screen. But this doesn't make sense, for I visualize nothing behind my eyes, I visualize everything in front of my eyes! Like Bro. Clarence said, in a dark room I light a candle and those photons of light enter my eyeball and stop there, the projected image is translated into impulses that travel the optic nerve and end in some dark recess of my brain, and in total darkness my brain 'throws' a re-creation of that candle burning right through my bony skull and makes the re-created candle seem to burn brightly before my eyes in a place where that very real material candle is actually burning! Hmmm...

God's thoughts?

It has been an interesting few days at the monastery, for many of the brothers have been pondering the thoughts of Lao Tzu, that is until Bro. Clarence asked to speak last evening after our meal. Perhaps I should wait until I can flesh this out a bit, but I think it more fun if I just copy some of the notes that I took last evening during Bro. Clarence's talk.

-----
Our note found in the corked bottle seems to have touched each of us in a different way, for me I wish to say that the one quote by Lao Tzu, "To the mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders." did exactly that, for I didn't sleep that night, instead I meditated on the stillness of the darkness and I would guess that after three hours light began to illuminate my mind and this invisible light, for it was still hours before dawn, that these thoughts came to be.

A bell gongs and sends sound waves to my ears and the eardrum vibrates and these vibrations are sensed by the mechanisms of the inner ear which are translated to electro/chemical signals that are sent to the brain to be further processed and then inside that glob of grey matter the bell gongs in silence.

Likewise the candle is lit and the light waves strike my eyes and the rods and cones are stimulated and these stimulations are sensed by the optic nerve by electro/chemicals signals that are sent to the brain to be further processed and then inside my skull the candle is lit, in total darkness.

And in these two examples, the electro/chemical mix that transports both the bell's gong and the candle's light, are the exact same mix. The signal transporters are the same! For sound as for light! It is the mind that deciphers those signals and determines them to be sound or light. Now isn't that amazing?

Now hold that for a moment while I tell you about what Luis de Broglie discovered, a discovery now called de Broglie waves. First Einstein claimed that matter is really a form of energy, then de Broglie claimed that matter, all matter, is fundamentally wave lengths and frequency of that wave. Now when I say all matter, I mean everything, including me and you! So the floor and earth that I stand atop is really 99.9% empty space, and what isn't empty is de Broglie's waves. Now doesn't that boggle your minds? Well hold on for what's next.

If everything, except the 99.9% of nothing, is fundamentally waves, and the floor I'm standing on is but the .1% of matter ... I mean waves, and the floor atop the earth the same, and my sandals too! And me too! Now what am I saying? All the earth, we included, the stars overhead, everything ... are these de Broglie's waves? Which brings us back to the bell's gong and the candle's light ... that too! Brothers! I am not speaking metaphorically, I am not being poetic, we are talking science!

All existence is totally ethereal, in Hebrew is the word "emet" (truth) which means an all encompassing reality, the building blocks from which all is constructed, so are these de Broglie's waves in fact "emet" ... the building blocks of this all encompassing reality? I wonder.
------

Upon which Bro. Simon stated that Bro. Clarence's "wonder" was too in fact part of the woven fabric of "waves" that may all be simply God's thoughts.

What is happiness?

Happiness always looks small while you hold it in your hands, but let it go, and you learn at once how big and precious it is.
--Maxim Gorky

Remembering Gordon Hu

This afternoon Bro. Simon discovered a corked wine bottle and what is interesting is that he found it on a little used trail that meanders through the desert about two miles away. When he came upon the bottle, he said it appeared as a bottle bobbing atop the surface of a great ocean, then as he walked toward the bottle he said his eyes seemed to be playing tricks, the noon sun hit the bottle at such an angle that suddenly Bro. Simon had to raise his hand to shield his eyes from the bright glare. And it was only when he reached down to pick up that bottle that he saw the rolled paper inside. Holding the corked bottle at the dining table he raised it up for all to see, and sure enough, inside was a tight roll of paper, "A treasure map!" shouted Bro. Juniper, which only got the rest of us more excited, even I was urging Bro. Simon to cut with the theatrics and uncork the "blasted bottle" ... which he did, admitting that he held back from uncorking the bottle until we could all see that this was indeed an artifact, though it seemed not very old to me, for normally something found in the desert is bleached and pitted by sun and sand. Using Bro. Cecil's corkscrew, Bro. Simon uncorked the bottle and spent a good minute attempting to fish the rolled paper from the bottle, but at last he had it out and unrolled and with a broad smile he said, "A treasure it is ... a message from our guest of last year, Gordon Hu!" With that most of us turned to one another and the expressions on our faces revealed that we indeed still remember Gordon Hu, the young gentleman traveling the outback of America, finding our humble monastery in the middle of the Mojave Desert, and as he said, about as far from China as one can travel. Bro. Simon held up the curled paper while saying, quotations from Lao Tzu. That brought more than a few nods of our heads, with delight I recalled the many evenings discussion Jesus and Lao Tzu, and it was then that I presented Gordon Hu with an old leather-bound King James, a book he had never read, yet was eager to begin.

The message:

To see things in the seed, that is genius.

Nature is not human hearted.

Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.

Manifest plainness, embrace simplicity, reduce selfishness, have few desires.

To the mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders.

A good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving.

Dear brothers, if you discover this bottle floating on this sea of sand, I tell you that these words of Lao Tzu are true. But I have a new book in my hand (that you know well) and this one I will not throw into the ocean until the words I have read and are with my heart, Gordon Hu.

Desert Epiphanies

It was a rocky trail that seemed to enchant me at the break of this morning's dawn, a trail I had never traveled before, an unknown destination it would take me, and there I found myself seated atop a large boulder, taking in the enormous silence as a star broke the eastern horizon in two -- the sun -- this ball of nuclear fusion that can never rest now sends its electromagnetic radiation over the now glare of a horizon and these funny waves hit me and the boulder and the yucca and the horned toad until we all take notice, dawn has broken. Enormous indeed is the sun, bright beyond the grasp of my eyeballs is its shine, yet insignificant it is in the grand scheme of the visible universe (or I think), and among them all, the boulder, the yucca, the horned toad, and even the sun itself, only I am privy to these thoughts.

John 1:1-5
In the beginning was the Word (Logos), and the Word (Logos) was with God, and the Word (Logos) was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made. In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it.

Pure silence engulfs me until my ears perked up to the gentle breeze that undoubtedly that ball of nuclear fusion nudged into being, energy smacking all things with a 186,000 mi/s jolt, wakening tiny bits of air, sending them on their way, some becoming blusters, some chinooks, some dust devils, some gusts and gales, others Zephyrs or Santa Anas, and to think as one gazes at the night sky that light is the exception and darkness, that which doesn't comprehend or cannot be comprehended, is the rule.

First things first

About midnight I heard a bit of a fuss outside my window and reluctantly I peeled back the blankets until the frosty desert air presented me with two options, pull up the blankets while a bit of warmth was left, or spring to my feet and move with haste to investigate the noises outside the window. My curiosity won out, but the coldness kept me in perpetual motion until I could get into my robe and atop that, my old army winter jacket. Seeing nothing out the window except flashes of red light, I continued to follow my curiosity, and outside I went. Not only were my thoughts, but my entire body seemed to feel and think only of the brutal cold night air, that is until I heard Bro. Clarence say, "Over here." And in the distance I saw the red of a tiny flashlight signaling me. I followed until I came upon Bro. Clarence setting up his telescope. At that point I could only think of warmth, warmth under my blankets, and I must confess that urge for warmth won out. But let me add that I was in my sandals, no socks, my feet were freezing, I was entirely unprepared for a lengthy stay, let alone a short stay, in the cold desert night. Sometimes the higher calling of the mind and soul must step aside and allow the body to seek at least a minimal state of comfort, and only then can the mind and soul continue on their journey.

In prison, Paul wrote:
The cloak that I left at Troas with Carpus, when thou comest, bring with thee, and the books, but especially the parchments. (2 Timothy 4.13)

In prison, William Tyndale wrote (1535):
I believe, most excellent Sir, that you are not unacquainted with the decision reached concerning me. On which account, I beseech your lordship, even by the Lord Jesus, that if I am to pass the winter here, to urge upon the lord commissary, if he will deign, to send me from my goods in his keeping a warmer cap, for I suffer greatly from cold in the head, being troubled with a continual catarrh, which is aggravated in this prison vault. A warmer coat also, for that which I have is very thin. Also cloth for repairing my leggings. My overcoat is worn out; the shirts also are worn out. He has a woolen shirt of mine, if he will please send it. I have also with him leggings of heavier cloth for overwear. He likewise has warmer nightcaps: I also ask for leave to use a lamp in the evening, for it is tiresome to sit alone in the dark.

But above all, I beg and entreat your clemency earnestly to intercede with the lord commissary, that he would deign to allow me the use of my Hebrew Bible, Hebrew Grammar, and Hebrew Lexicon, and that I might employ my time with that study. Thus likewise may you obtain what you most desire, saving that it further the salvation of your soul. But if, before the end of winter, a different decision be reached concerning me, I shall be patient, and submit to the will of God to the glory of the grace of Jesus Christ my Lord, whose spirit may ever direct your heart. Amen.

W. Tyndale

Who are we?

"This freedom to doubt is an important matter in the sciences and, I believe, in other fields. It was born of a struggle. It was a struggle to be permitted to doubt, to be unsure. And I do not want us to forget the importance of the struggle and, by default, to let the thing fall away."

--Richard Feynman

"We are not human beings on a spiritual journey. We are spiritual beings on a human journey."

"Someday, after mastering the winds, the waves, the tides and gravity, we shall harness for God the energies of love, and then, for a second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire."

--Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

The learn'd astronomer

Last evening Bro. Clarence gave a talk, or I should say a lecture on astronomy, and as he said, to prepare us for the upcoming observations with his new telescope. He even wheeled out the chalkboard and began drawing lines and arcs and numbers followed by countless zeros, he talked of Hubble and bubbles and a cosmos liken to the suds in a bubble bath, and on and on it went. I found it fascinating, but noted that Bro. Juniper was nodding off, so it is my guess that he is the one that push-pinned the following to the dining room bulletin board early this morning, and I must add, a fair rebuttal to talk of countless zeros.

WHEN I heard the learn’d astronomer;

When the proofs, the figures, were ranged in columns before me;

When I was shown the charts and the diagrams, to add, divide, and measure them;

When I, sitting, heard the astronomer, where he lectured with much applause in the lecture-room,

How soon, unaccountable, I became tired and sick;

Till rising and gliding out, I wander’d off by myself,

In the mystical moist night-air, and from time to time,

Look’d up in perfect silence at the stars.

--Walt Whitman

Ash Wednesday

The day after,
a ghost of a cross,
upon my forehead!

Fancy a sunset

It is noble indeed to contemplate a brighter future, a brighter here and now, and it's ironic that these thoughts come upon us as we gaze at the sunset, and the more dramatic the redden sky, the more profound our noble thoughts, yet remove the air pollution, the smoke, the ash in the atmosphere, then suddenly our sunset disappears, for the sterile sky catches and holds not our fancy.

Are we now awake?

Sometimes I think of life as countless journeys, or Odysseys, or cycles, and of course starting from birth, and some treks are short and eventful, others are long and may be filled with experiences and learning, and some wanderings take you in a loop and you find yourself returned, no wiser, no better, only poorer for the loss of so much time. So in life we meet new people, and if life is good, we share our experiences, our spiritual travels, and in this sharing sometimes we meet someone who has walked many journeys of fulfillment that has made this person better, while other times we are the ones sharing the journeys of enlightenment. Some early trips may be to hilltops, and we meet many others along the path, coming and going, later in life we may be climbing taller mountains, and meet not so many along the way, but those that we meet we pause to share the secrets of mountain climbing, some tips learned may save your life later as you get closer to the peak. Maybe you meet a few returning from the peak, some with great joy that tell you of the splendid view from top, others may tell that this peak was a challenge, but it really isn't a big mountain, so save your glee for the other taller and more challenging mountain climbs that are still out there. And life is such, we all find ourselves in a different place, none have made it to the tallest of peaks, most don't even dare, but some, with happy hearts, keep looking over the horizon for another wondrous mountain that we set our sights on. And life can be like that, seeking God, yet never kidding ourselves into thinking we are atop Everest and our traveling days are over, for seeking God is a lifetime journey, especially when we remember that each step along the way can be a miracle in itself, if only we are awake and have ears to hear and eyes to see.

Shalom,
Bro. Bartleby

The matter of early darkness and the big EVIL

For some of us our electricity-free experiment is moving along just fine, and one interesting observation made by Bro. Juniper last night was that after sunset the desert becomes exceedingly dark, especially during new moon, and without our normal "lit up" environment, the bit of candle light here and there seems to heighten the senses, so much so that even the ears become super sensitive. Our former familiar environment suddenly became unfamiliar, new sounds emerge from the night. I guess prior to turning off the electricity we more or less created an artificial daylight far into the night, and with that light most of us were active in one way or another, but with very early darkness, our night time activity has nearly slowed to a halt. Whatever cannot be performed under candlelight, has been eliminated from our evening and nighttime activites. Prior, we would turn the light off only when we were ready for sleep, and for most of us sleep came quickly, so no time to really sense the quiet sounds of the night. Now we have many hours of darkness before sleep, so those quiet sounds are taking on new meaning, and in some cases we know not the source of the sounds. That is why our imaginations have suddenly become more active. I admit more than once being startled by a weird sound in the darkness. The desert may appear deserted to some, but I can assure you that is not true. Especially at night, creatures large and small abound. Which brings us to the matter of the big EVIL. In darkness the mind seems to want an explanation for everything, and when an answer isn't forthcoming, then just like last night, every sound became a creature prowling about the monastery. Is that what evil is? We cannot see what is producing the menacing sounds, so devils begin to dance in our minds, all sorts of crazed thoughts take the cue. But then a flip of the switch and light shines near and far and the wild imagination is startled by the normalcy of it all. Which is why I'm more inclined to believe that evil is when one turns away from God, or even in ignorance, acts in opposite to the Light of God. Much of what in the past was considered evil incarnate, I would say was ignorance of mental illness. Of all the countless electrochemical processes that take place in the human brain, a symphony of precision and exactitude, it is mindboggling how we can be so 'normal' and then add the burden of the modern environment (or the ancient environment), and add all that takes place in the formation of the brain from conception until whatever current state you find yourself, amazing that 'it' works at all. So I view aberrations in human behavior as understandable, understandable in the sense that any man-made complex machine that could function year in and year out without 'crashing' is really unthinkable. Yet we consider it normal for the brain to do just that. But it does 'crash' in many nonfatal ways, in the ancient world we could only make sense of someone so 'disabled' as being possessed by evil spirits, today we seek to either repair the brain chemistry, or 'help' the mind to self repair. Some speak of great evil beings, such as Hitler and the Nazi 'elite', yet some of the decent beings that were eye witness to the Nazis more often than not came to report their own astonishment at the banality of these evil beings. In which I return to what I believe is the greatest evil, the 'reverse born again' or the turning away from God. I have never experience a credible personification of evil, one medical doctor that I know who once examined prisoners said he once experienced a prisoner that he was sure was possessed by a real evil that transcended 'mental illness'. For me, the first step in discernment is to use common sense and logic, and when it comes to evil humans, I find it too easy to logically uncover their behavior. If humans behaved as most animals behave, then we would call all humans evil, yet animals are not evil. Without self awareness, animals act only to survive, their actions are appropriate for survival, even when the actions bring horror to us humans. We do not consider animals possessed because they slaughter other animals, for them it is normal. So as we need not a personified evil such as Satan or devils to explain the actions of snakes and tigers and sharks, so too with those humans that turn away from God, for them evil is when one's self awareness is perverted to the point where empathy is lost, and then, with the masks of humans, these humans become animals.

Shalom,
Bro. Bartleby

Jesus in Japan

Last night Bro. Simon was talking about his early travels in Japan, with rucksack and sandals he spent five years criss-crossing the country, and as he puts it, "seeking to get to the bottom of this Zen thing." Well, he never got to the "bottom" of Zen, but he described meeting an elderly Buddhist, he too traveling by foot, and with his limited Japanese was able to understand that this old fellow was going to see the "grave of Jesus Christ!" Bro. Simon was rather puzzled at the time, listening to this Buddhist speaking of the grave of Jesus, and actually pointing toward a far off hill, and uttering in English, "Grave ... grave ..." So the journey began, the two walking side by side, the young American and the elderly Japanese, both hiking to the grave of Jesus. Bro. Simon's bemusement was only intensified when they came upon a wooden directional sign, and in the midst of Japanese characters were the printed English words: "Jesus Grave" with an arrow pointing straight ahead. Late afternoon they arrived, and this is what Bro. Simon copied down, transcribed from the wooden sign that was posted before a mound that had a large cross.

When He was 21 years old, Jesus Christ (イエスキリスト) came to Japan and studied theology for 12 years. He came back to Judea at the age of 33 in order to preach, but people there rejected His teachings and arrested Him to crucify Him. However, it was His little brother Jsus Chri (イスキリ) who took His place and ended his life on the cross. Jesus Christ, having escaped crucifixion, resumed His travels and finally came back to Japan, where He settled in this village, Herai, and lived till the age of 106 (other versions mention the age of 118 and the name of His wife, Miyu). In this holy place, the tomb on the right is dedicated to Jesus Christ, while the tomb on the left commemorates His brother, Jsus Chri. All of this is written in Jesus Christ's testament.

Bro. Simon said the Buddhist monk stared at the grave mound and the cross for a very long time, then turned to him and placed a gnarled but firm hand on Bro. Simon's shoulder before smiling a smile that only someone that had already gotten to the bottom of this Zen thing could smile.

Everywhere

By the Sea of Galilee
They went forth
The trees’ fresh green was everywhere.

--Tetsuzo Takeda

The message

About half an hour ago I was somewhere else, then like a flat pebble skipping across a pond, rock meets water, each time I recover, a bit wet, but glad that I have touched the surface of depths that I know are more than my mere skimming the surface will allow me to enter, and I wonder, does the water think me cold and hard, do I disturb its tranquil surface, or does it welcome my unexpected, and perhaps unrefined, visit? Of course we may never know, for words are our only lasting memory of our brief encounter, and unless we utter words, utter thoughts, utter our souls, then the memory will be but concentric circles upon the surface while the depths remain untouched.

Shalom,
Bro. Bartleby